The 'Thinking Disease'
“Cause you can’t jump the track, we’re like cars on a cable
And life’s like an hourglass glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing if you understand”
-Ana Nalick (Breathe)
It is really a Herculean task to pen down all the thoughts and questions raging through my mind right now. But it would be foolish to feign ignorance and let them create a pandemonium. So I will do what is best in such a situation – just go with the flow and write down whatever comes to my mind.
Due to my philosophical rejuvenation at SIDH, if I might call it so, a lot of preconditions have been shaken through and through. What is the biggest surprise is that I did not mean any of this to happen. I had always thought that I was comfortable with my conditioning and that would be the way things would probably be. But the seed planted has not only germinated but begun to grow. I really am questioning things that I thought I wanted to do.
So then, what is it that will help me attain contentment? What if I chuck away all my plans and set out in search for that eluding phantom, like the shepherd of ‘The Alchemist’? What if I find out that the things that I pursued with such determination were not really what I wanted? Would I be able to go back in time and at least be able the plans which would give me that ‘apparent happiness’?
These are just some of the questions that have been boggling me. Unless I am able to answer them, I’ll be like that man who tries to ride two boats at the same time and finally ends up in the water.
I have always been a tad bit strange. Imagining the world as an ideal place and being frighteningly conceited; all at the same time. I have been a chronic victim of the “Thinking Disease”. Hmmm…..I really do think too much. Maybe it’s because I don’t do anything. An empty mind is, after all, some kind of a workshop. The Devil may not own it all the time but someone has to, all the same.
So there’s the sum of things. I don’t expect things will change a lot. Not unless a bolt from the blue lights up that bulb somewhere inside. And till then, I will be ‘thinking’ a lot – looking for answers and finding newer problems in their stead.
And life’s like an hourglass glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing if you understand”
-Ana Nalick (Breathe)
It is really a Herculean task to pen down all the thoughts and questions raging through my mind right now. But it would be foolish to feign ignorance and let them create a pandemonium. So I will do what is best in such a situation – just go with the flow and write down whatever comes to my mind.
Due to my philosophical rejuvenation at SIDH, if I might call it so, a lot of preconditions have been shaken through and through. What is the biggest surprise is that I did not mean any of this to happen. I had always thought that I was comfortable with my conditioning and that would be the way things would probably be. But the seed planted has not only germinated but begun to grow. I really am questioning things that I thought I wanted to do.
So then, what is it that will help me attain contentment? What if I chuck away all my plans and set out in search for that eluding phantom, like the shepherd of ‘The Alchemist’? What if I find out that the things that I pursued with such determination were not really what I wanted? Would I be able to go back in time and at least be able the plans which would give me that ‘apparent happiness’?
These are just some of the questions that have been boggling me. Unless I am able to answer them, I’ll be like that man who tries to ride two boats at the same time and finally ends up in the water.
I have always been a tad bit strange. Imagining the world as an ideal place and being frighteningly conceited; all at the same time. I have been a chronic victim of the “Thinking Disease”. Hmmm…..I really do think too much. Maybe it’s because I don’t do anything. An empty mind is, after all, some kind of a workshop. The Devil may not own it all the time but someone has to, all the same.
So there’s the sum of things. I don’t expect things will change a lot. Not unless a bolt from the blue lights up that bulb somewhere inside. And till then, I will be ‘thinking’ a lot – looking for answers and finding newer problems in their stead.
posted by Marvin at 1:44 AM
6 Comments:
things wont change unless you want them to ..and then again change for changes sake ..is well, a fart we have all smelt...There has to be an ultimate aim ..an awareness...what do you want to change and how do you want to change it. Do you want to revolt..well try it...revolutions only make good stories.
My point is this... Reacting to things and circumstances wont get you anywhere. We have to act.NOt react.
P.SThinking is a natrual process everybody does it. Its what you think that makes the difference. What are you thinking ??
7:32 AM
well ... i kind of agree to what amitabh said .. if u let us know what .. u really think .. we may togeather .. come to a solution and check out ..whether it balances most of our accountable equations or not..
9:35 AM
i dont think i am prepared for a revolution...i might dream about it but in the end its cold reality which plays the spoilsport...i think right now its all about what i want to do further in life...i hv chosen to become an engineer because i thought that i liked it...still do...at least i hope so...so far so good..its what i want to do after it...just go with the flow and become a clog in some company working ur ass off(cant help that either)...or do something more meaningful(read risky)....but its the rick which frightens me the most..what if i later realize the catch wasnt worth the bait??
12:00 PM
its been all over me lately...honestly...i have thought abt plans which i thought were rock solid...nothing could come in their way....still i think they are holdin off....but is that happines apparent or real??
that is the crux of the matter
12:19 PM
I like the idea -- we're looking for "evolution, not revolution". The difference to me is that in "revolution" the change is sudden, and may end up being for good or bad. "Evolution" is a change, but it's a slower, more natural process... and in its meaning, you are moving forward, progressing.
I, myself, have started becoming more aware of the subtler things in my life - I was at a "hi-fi" event, and we were eating food, chatting, etc. But, i felt discomfort... there were all these people around me that were working, cooking the food, serving the food, putting back the chairs, etc... doing physical work. And here I was standing, and chatting. And, most of us that were standing and chatting would think that our "mental activity" was more important than the worker's "physical activity". And, I thought.. I'm just a consumer, I don't produce anything.
At that moment, I looked for a friend to go help out with the work. I asked one person, he refused. Then, I asked Sameer.. and he came along with me. Basically, there was only one thing left to clean up... pick up and put in the van. So, I helped out.
However, the process started. I felt uncomfortable, and I was aware of this discomfort. That was step 1. Step 2 was being able to act on this discomfort (which I partly was able to do). Step 3, I think is being able to act right away and naturally whenever there is discomfort. Step 4 is creating situations and spaces, and planning for the future, where we rid ourselves of these discomforts, and live according to Understanding.
I've definitely oversimplified it. These steps don't always go in chronological order and can also be simaltaneous. Also, with different aspects of Reality/Truth, we may be at different stages. Already in our lives, we live according to many aspects of Truth. Also, there are many aspects which we have no awareness of.
Continual sharing, continual exploration, continual awareness, continual efforts to put 'understanding' into action... for me, this is my path.
3:37 AM
I agree with raj. Till late the feeling of discomfort would be apparent. Lets call it awareness. But awareness alone wont lead to anothing , its the application of that awareness in the terms of work and baehaviour that is important .And once I began applying myself to erase my discomfort, then the actual process began ...
Siddhartha feeling that cold life spoils the party is because of a lack of implementation. Try once ..in the smallest of things ..the pettiest of habits. Try to think it through and change it as an excercise...I think we realise how much control we have over our life..
And once that realisation seeps in , the process begins I think.
to put it into a nutshell ..I feel that this is philosiphy/school of thought etc..that works from micro to macro. From personal to social and then so on ..so to bring about a change in the larger order..we need to first understand and change our selves.
12:53 PM
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